1. |
Introduction
00:38
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2. |
Kublai Khan
03:44
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In Palmy North did Kublai Khan,
a stately rocking dome decree.
He had no musos,
that's why he called on me.
Won't you bring me some grunt?
Bring me some grime.
Won't you bring me a drummer who plays in time?
Chorus:
Won't you bring me some rock (x3)
Won't you bring me a drummer who plays in time?
From every corner of the rocking world,
musos ventured forth.
Kublai sat on his carvéd throne,
enjoying all the sport.
Chorus.
Voiceover:
Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Radio Kublai Khan.
If we khan play it, you khan hear it.
That's why we called in the Bing Turkby Ensemble,
all the way from Turakina!
We're out here running with the vanquishing hordes,
trying not to get bored,
polishing our swords.
We just wanna hear some rock'n'roll.
Can you bring it?
Chorus
Bring me some drums!
Bring me some bass!
Bring me some sax!
Bring me some me!
Won't you bring me a drummer who plays in time?
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3. |
Outsourced intro
00:38
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4. |
Outsourced
03:56
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See the sun a-risin' o'er the Turakina shore.
See the spaceships landing in the pumpkin patch once more.
See the aliens alight,
they come in peace to do what's right.
They march under the banner of TurkbyTone Rekkids now.
TurkbyTone Rekkids is run by Jim the K.
He's always very happy, if everything goes his way.
He's standing on the sunny shores to greet his alien friends.
All of them work for TurkbyTone Rekkids now.
Chorus:
Well have you seen the Turkby team?
They come from way out there in space.
Yeah have you seen the Turkby team?
They've been outsourced from outer space.
The Turkby team flies around in fancy spacey ships,
distributing pamphlets and handy cleaning tips.
They come in peace but then again,
they make a lot of noise.
There really is no accounting for boys.
Their promo duties over, they board for outer space,
but scanning through the crowd,
they look for Jim K's face.
He really is their hero, but nobody knows why.
The secret must be out there in the sky.
Chorus.
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5. |
The Original intro
00:24
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6. |
The Original
05:42
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Lying in a ditch facing southwards,
aligned with the sun.
Soaking up the leyline's power.
The chosen one.
Bridge:
Magical strength comes seeping through my bones.
I'm a warrior mage, about to claim my throne.
Chorus:
I'm the original.
The invincible.
The original.
I'm a warrior mage, about to claim my throne.
Taking stock of the situation.
Foes all around.
Summoning the strength of demons,
I knock 'em down.
Bridge.
Chorus.
Won't you come and join in my royal quest?
The rewards are great.
The world's at stake.
It's time to claim my throne.
The King is home!
The original, etc. for ages...
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7. |
Saint Ally intro
00:31
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8. |
Saint Ally of Audio
04:29
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You've got a broken amp.
You've got a gig tonight.
You need a saviour,
and your time is tight.
Chorus:
Call the man, with magic hands.
He'll save your arse.
That's why they call him Saint Ally of Audio.
Your stuff is coming back better than new, he's the man!
Many's the time I have
broken gear like an idiot.
But Ally's never called me an idiot,
and I appreciate it!
Chorus
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9. |
No indication intro
00:28
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10. |
No indication
02:47
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When I'm driving in my car,
I never bother to indicate.
That's just the kind of dickhead that I am.
When I come to a roundabout,
no-one knows what I'm about.
I don't need to give no indication.
Chorus:
No indication,
no indication.
No-no-no-no-no no indication.
I like causing accidents,
and I don't have insurance.
Everyone should just give way to me.
Because the road belongs to me,
and I am indestructible.
I don't need to give no indication.
Chorus.
Beep beep!
Beep beep!
You better give way to me.
I have no courtesy.
I've got a forcefield round my car.
I've been OK so far.
Chorus.
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11. |
Ballerina intro
00:30
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12. |
Ballerina
03:52
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You gotta watch this town or it'll eat you.
Keep your back up to the wall.
Eyes on the prize, or you're a loser.
The name of the game is swim,
or sink like a stone.
Don't turn your back until you're out of there.
Pay the price or lose a limb.
The people watch to see you stumble.
Lick their lips and wait
to stab you in the back.
Bridge:
Halfway down, between Bulls and Wanganui,
is the city of hope.
The city that'll eat you for breakfast.
Chorus: Turakina, no place meaner,
a ballerina poised with a dagger.
Kina-tura, glad I knew ya.
Now you'd better throw me your money and run.
Well I've walked these streets since I was little.
My mother said “Go earn your keep”.
I sold my soul for fish and chips.
Bridge.
Chorus.
Repeat Verse 2,
Bridge and Chorus.
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13. |
Menage Ottawa intro
01:11
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14. |
Menage Ottawa
03:32
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An elephant, a bird.
A solitary word.
A time, a place, Menage Ottawa.
The particles collide.
My brain begins to fry.
A sign that says Menage Ottawa.
Chorus:
Hot town, Menage Ottawa.
Get around, in Menage Ottawa.
There's nothing you can't do.
A most peculiar sound.
A most unsteady ground.
It's windy too, Menage Ottawa.
No George, don't anyone go out the window.
Why can't I take these spoons from my eyes?
Chorus.
We won't break your windows,
if you don't tell me lies
Your face is so familiar,
when I look into your big, blue eyes.
Chorus.
Menage, Menage, Menage, Menage, etc. for a long time. Chorus x 2.
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15. |
Conspiracy intro
00:44
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16. |
Conspiracy
02:23
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Iscariot was a sharpened blade
(Says so, says so on the page).
Turned his coat so he could get paid.
But what if they've been pulling our leg?
And Jesus died but he ain't really dead.
Chorus:
It's one, two, three, conspiracy (x2).
Now I have read Baigent and Leigh
(Listen what they say to me).
Find the truth and set it free.
But matters of faith are not clear cut.
You cannot prove what's in your gut.
Chorus.
Well Jesus was a man, at least in the beginning.
He went up on a cross, because of all the sinning.
And then the people say, he rode off in a jet boat.
A miracle it could float.
It's one, two, three conspiracy.
One, two, three, conspiracy.
The people try to confuse me.
Chorus.
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17. |
Against a sponge intro
01:09
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18. |
Against a sponge
04:37
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I awake in the night and I can't sleep.
The warlocks of dread crawl out from the deep.
My castle is strong, my warriors are loyal.
But my soothsayer says that I'm in peril.
Chorus:
How long must the warlocks of dread carry on like this?
And how long must I trap myself in my keep like this?
It's like banging your head against a sponge.
I'm tired of waiting, I'm going out there.
Bring me my gallant steed and the SWORD OF XANTHROS!
Chorus.
I'm gonna try just a little bit (x3)
Gonna try just a little bit more.
Chorus a couple of times.
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19. |
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20. |
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I gather my retainers near.
I summon forth the SWORD OF XANTHROS.
My castle is impregnable.
The demon wizards have met their match.
Chorus:
Geomorphic immunity fills my soul.
Geomorphic immunity – I'm immortal!
Ten beakers filled with liquids rare.
Ten potions to restore vitality.
Ten summonings of spirits true.
Ten links in the magical chain.
Chorus.
And all these things I do,
to fight the demon wizards.
Protect my loyal serfs.
Summon forth the mangonels.
Summon forth the SWORD OF XANTHROS.
Summon forth my eight-legged steed.
Unleash the magical beasts!
Chorus.
And all these things I do, to fight the demon wizards. Protect my loyal serfs.
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21. |
Conspiracy [RIS remix]
03:32
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22. |
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The Bing Turkby Ensemble Palmerston North, New Zealand
In 1996 the Bing Turkby Ensemble was one man, a wig and a tape deck. The band now features this cast of miscreants: Tyrone T. Blowhard (sax), Slapskins McBOOOm (drums), and Ajax MacDeth (bass).
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